like even LESS of one then i had at CSF. and thats just SAD. i mean come on, at CSF i OCCAISIONALLY went to a friend's room, outside for a concert and ran into friends, sat out on the quad and at least got some sun because it was like two minutes outside my door, sometimes even left campus, and actually had friends who wanted to hang out outside of class.
here? i sit around....in my room.....alone. no one asks me to come over because i dont have friends on campus and my off campus friends have work and/or live far away/have no way we can get anywhere. its sad. my social life has been bottled down to seeing people i'm "class friends" with, in class of course, and every two weeks or so eating lunch with Carol on a wednesday or monday when we both have long breaks between classes. thats. it. thats it. i'm serious, THATS my social life. that and being online. and i have to sit here and listen to my roommates with their friends and going out and doing things and having their fuck buddies over (ok only the bitch does that, the other two just have friends over) and actually having human contact and its driving me fucking crazy.
i cant believe i thought i had no social life at CSF....now i KNOW what no social life feels like. and this time (unlike 4th grade aka the worst year of my life) i dont even have my family to come home to....i have nothing.....nothing but roomies who have their own social lives and ugh!
why does such a stupid conversation with "the bitch" have to make me feel this way!?
"so did you do anything fun over the weekend?"
"no not really, i dont ever do anything fun over the weekend."
"why?"
"because i dont have any friends here?"
"then why did you want to transfer?"
"i didnt."
"ohhhh thats right you had to.....sorry."
after she had been talking about how awesome her weekend had been when she was rock climbing and having fun and not having to be the one who had to stay home so that someone could let in the repair guy to ONCE AGAIN unclog the toilet.
i'm the loser roomie. just.......kill me now?.....or let me go home and never leave? ugh. or...give me some friends?....or one? one NON CREEPY friend. just ONE. thats all i ask for. one non-creepy, normal friend who will invite me over every once and a while to play video games or watch movies or just be losers together. and it would be nice if they had a car.....lol. but seriously....this is all i ask for? how hard can it be? (apparently very! -___-)
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1 comment:
So sorry to hear about this rotten time hon. I can definitely relate to the lack of social life in college- and sadly, I don't just mean my first year when everything was new, either. It's completely lame how sometimes the shallow selfish people end up with friends (although not necessarily the best of friends) and the nicer ones don't. At least know that you're not alone and there are lots of people in Austin that love you! Myself included <3
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